Post Is Gonna be really long! But totally worth it!!
Now I'm going to tell you a short story abaut my depression process, how i got in and out of depression. Well it wasn't really depression as i luckly had all my family and friend support especially my beautiful sisters support. Well after i completed highschool i decided to take a gap year whereby i reasted for a year home, with my cousin completing with me it was okay as then the would help him out with study fees while I'm home. Abaut the 2nd month of my gap year i got a job at a restaurant nearby, and well i had a bf who also just completed with me but unfortunately he failed and didn't want to repeat so he just decided to get a job as his parents weren't even that financial stable, i met this guy in my last year of highschool and we started dating short after that. Well here is what happened he was working but his salary wasn't enough for him to beable to move and start staying alone as an independent worker, with my salary and his joined, since i didn't really have anything to do with my salary plus my side hustle earnings. I helped him move to a rental literally bought him all necessary household things like, dishes, stove, food and so on, i even bought him a Television and fridge with my Instagram earnings, the mistake i made is buying the television and fridge in his name, he only used his salary to pay rental and help out his family as he claimed which I'm doughting now, I'm even the one who bought him toiletries for that month. For abaut four months I've helped him buy food and pay his rent, as his money he used to get better cloths and helped his family.
My sister tried to talk to me when she realized what i was doing but i refused to listen to her, my parents who surprised me didn't even say a word abaut it, my little sibling told me my mom said it's a lesson god is giving me before i find a real stable job, i ignored that and kept supporting my boy until one day as i was online i received a text from an unknown the text read like this 'Dear Blom, I'm sorry to be the one telling you this but I'm also a women feel kind off sorry for you, so your guy is cheating with me, and he seems to be inlove with me, I'll send you some pics of us, confront him if you like, I'm just so sorry but i love him too', and in no time she send me the pics which were inappropriate, my boyfriend literally in bed with another women, i screamed so hard that my big sister and mom heard me, they rushed to my room and since i didn't have the energy managed to take my phone from my hand and immediately realised what happened, my sister texted the person a simple 'Thank you' while my mom tried to calm me down, they tried hard and finally managed to make me fall asleep. I decided to quit my job and enrolled to college fast with my parents good connection, i still kept intouch with him as i didn't confront him yet but never visited him which he didn't seem to care of as he only kept asking for my help which i didn't give him at all, i kept giving him the excuse of I'm broke, i don't work, was shocked one day when he said i had instagram and my parents are rich i could borrow from them, that's when i realised he only loved my money. Anyways my dad managed to get the girl he was cheating with and they offered her 10 000$ to help me expose him, she texted me the time she went to meet him and since it was a open relationship me and my big sister showed up there making it seem like a coincidence and we found them exactly in bed since i had the copy of key to the apartment it wasnt difficult to get in, he didn't even have an excuse to his cheating his response was 'I love her, but with you i can live a financial stable life', we broke up after that but had to drop college as i was depressed hearing that a guy i loved and thought loved me back only wanted my help. Ofcourse he kept begging me to take him back and promised to change and dumped that girl but no, relationship wasn't my thing anymore. With my family and friends support i got out of that depressed life after a month. Now here are the tips i used to move on and successfully walked out of depression,
(Fun Fact: I met that ex of mine in town and i was with my new boyfriend we greeted each other, and i realised how sad he got when i introduced my boyfriend, he almost cried infront of us, i could see tears in his eyes and his broken voice, he seems to be suffering now')
Tips that helped me mlve On!
1. Grieve
-It might sound stupid, but i believe it's the first step of all, i myself grieved for like a week, i litterally stayed in my room and only ate snacks which my family respected as they gave me the time to grieve, i remember on our way back with my sister from my ex's apartment after the incidence, my sister said 'hey blom, you can cry if you need too, it's healthy trust me' and i now know she was right. Grieving after a breakup is the first step to healing your heart, just don't take a month crying thoug
2. Accept
-It took me abaut two weeks to accept the breakup, although we broke up, deep down i still thought we'll get back together, as soon as i started accepting the fact that he was dead to me and the was no getting back, the more i started to get over it fast
3. Talk
-Well this really helped me, luckily my sister was on maternity leave, so she always was around for me to talk to and always my mom was ready to listen, despite me disobeying them. I think when you talk things get lighter, as of me it made me feel that I'm not alone
4.Find New Activities
-It's obvious the are things you di d with your partner which will keep reminding you the past, find new hobies and enjoy them, it helps
5.Go on Dates
-Sounds Crazy but worked for me, knowing that other guys have interest in you boost even your confidence, my sister was an expect so she will arrange dates for me obviously with my standard guys to avoid me spending anything, although non of those guys i went on dates with interested me it still helped me see that there's plenty of guys out there even better than him
6. Take Care Of Yourself
-Even if it's eating snacks that will make you feel better than do it, pamper yourself but just make sure it's in a way of not harming your body
7. Get Busy
-This is what made me move on fast, with my sister around, i didn't even have time to think of my ex, she never let me! if it's not the Gym then we are busy unnecessary shopping, if not shopping then we are doing our nails at a salon, if not that then we're at the spa relaxing, if we're home not watching tv, Then we are busy making tiktok videos with our little famous sister Tiktok, if not tiktok, then we are trying a new recipe at a restaurant, i can't forget all the late night clubbings, she hardly let me to be on my phone
Those are the steps i used to flush off my ex and move on, And today i feel amaizing i went through it, it taught me that no matter how much you think you love that person don't give in all, just put your leg and keep your body out of the relationship. Thanks for reading especially cause the post was long, Bye
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